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Малко смях: eng

Автор: pmad
Дата: 22-01-08 20:10

This is a True phone call from the Word Perfect Help line

This has got to be one of the funniest things I've heard of
in a Long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not
fired. This is a True phone call from the Word Perfect Help line which was
transcribed from a Recording monitoring the customer care
department. Needless to say the HelpDesk employee was fired;
however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization
for "Termination without Cause." This is actual Dialogue of a
former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.

Now I know why they record these conversations!

"Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

"What sort of trouble?"

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the
words went away."

"Went away?"

"They disappeared."

"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"It's blank, it won't accept anything when I type."

"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

"How do I tell?"

"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

"What's a sea-prompt?"

"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept
anything I type."

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

"What's a monitor?"

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

"I don't know."

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where
the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Great. Follow the c! ord to t he plug, and tell me if it's
plugged into the wall."

"Yes, it is."

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that
there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

"No."

"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and
find the other cable."

"Okay, here it is."

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely
into the back of your computer."

"I can't reach."

"Uh huh. Well , can you see if it is?"

"No."

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way
over?"

"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's
because it's dark."

"Dark?"

"Yes, the office light is off, and the only light I have
is coming in from the window."

"Well, turn on the office light then."

"I can't."

"No? Why not?"

"Because there's a power failure."

"A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked
now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff
your computer came in?"

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up
just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store
you bought it from."

"Really? Is it that bad?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."

Съжелявам,но просто не ми се превежда. [smilie3]

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Re: Малко смях: eng

Автор: magnifico
Дата: 22-01-08 20:25

"Because there's a power failure."
[smilie18]

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Re: Малко смях: eng

Автор: tonevjr
Дата: 22-01-08 20:26

[smilie18]

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Re: Малко смях: eng

Автор: pileshtar
Дата: 22-01-08 20:31

[smilie18]

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Re: Малко смях: eng

Автор: magnifico
Дата: 22-01-08 20:31

Ето и от мен едно...
In the courtroom:
-Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
-No
-Did you check for blood preasure?
-No
-Did you check for breathing?
-No
-So then is it possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
-No
-How can you be so sure, doctor?
-Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
-But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
-It is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere!
[smilie25]

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Re: Малко смях: eng

Автор: falcon
Дата: 22-01-08 20:34

[smilie18]

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Re: Малко смях: eng

Автор: pmad
Дата: 22-01-08 21:42

ето още малко и от мен [smilie18]

Below given are True telephone conversations recorded from various Help Desks around the World…..

Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one…

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can’t get my diskette out.
Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button ?
Customer: Yes, but it’s really stuck.
Helpdesk: That doesn’t sound good; I’ll make a note …
Customer: No … wait a minute… I hadn’t inserted it yet… it’s still on my desk… sorry .

Helpdesk: Click on the ‘my computer’ icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left ?

Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you ?
Male Customer: Hello… I can’t print.
Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and …
Customer: Listen pal; don’t start getting technical on me ! I’m not Bill Gates damn it !

Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I can’t print.
Every time I try it says ‘Can’t find printer’. I’ve even lifted the
printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still
says he can’t find it…

Customer: I have problems printing in red…
Helpdesk: Do you have a colour printer ?
Customer: No.

Helpdesk: What’s on your monitor now ma’am ?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.

Helpdesk: And now hit F8.
Customer: It’s not working.
Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly ?
Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told me, but nothing’s happening.

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Helpdesk: Are you sure it’s plugged into the computer ?
Customer: No. I can’t get behind the computer.
Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you ?
Customer: Yes
Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard ?
Customer: Yes, there’s another one here. Ah…that one does work !

Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

A customer couldn’t get on the internet.
Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right password ?
Customer: Yes I’m sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password was ?
Customer: Five stars.

Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use ?
Customer: Netscape.
Helpdesk: That’s not an antivirus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry…Internet Explorer.

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screensaver on my
computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears !

Helpdesk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you ?
Customer: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you. Can you
please tell me how long it will take before you can help me ?
Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don’t understand your problem ?
Customer: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4
hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me ?

Helpdesk: How may I help you ?
Customer: I’m writing my first e-mail.
Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem ?
Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle around it ?

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Re: Малко смях: eng

Автор: hunter
Дата: 22-01-08 22:03

[smilie10]

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Re: Малко смях: eng

Автор: asenr
Дата: 23-01-08 11:36

"No Smoke"

A guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.

Tech: "What's the problem?"
User: "There is smoke coming out of the power supply."
Tech: "You'll need a new power supply."
User: "No I don't! I just need to change the startup files."
Tech: "Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it."
User: "No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command."

Ten minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The Tech is frustrated.

smoking computer Tech: "Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem."
User: "I knew it!"
Tech: "Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes."

Ten minutes later.

User: "It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking."
Tech: "Well, what version of DOS are you using?"
User: "MS-DOS 6.22."
Tech: "That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes."

One hour later.

User: "I need a new power supply."
Tech: "How did you come to that conclusion?"
User: "Well, I rang Microsoft and told the guy about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of power supply."
Tech: "Then what did he say?"
User: "He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE."

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